I figure any movie that begins with a Pixies song can’t be all that bad. And “Stuck on You” isn’t. In fact, it’s quite good—another funny, sweet and politically uncorrect (but never demeaning) film from The Farrelly Brothers, still best known for hanging semen from Ben Stiller’s ear in “There’s Something about Mary.” The joke is that brothers Bob and Walt Tenor (Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear) are Siamese twins. They seem fairly well-adjusted to the unique situation that nature has put them in and are popular guys around Martha’s Vineyard, where they live and make a living flipping burgers. But Walt is a budding thespian, currently putting on a one-man show about Truman Capote. And when the acting bug bites hard—despite Bob’s penchant for on-stage panic attacks—the boys move to Hollywood so that Walt can chase his dream.

Unfortunately, the market for conjoined twins is limited in Tinseltown, and the boys are the laughingstock of every agency they set their four feet in. Through luck and sneaky circumstances, Walt lands the male lead in a new detective series opposite Cher (playing herself), and though the director has difficulty keeping Bob out of frame, the series becomes a hit. Success has a price, however, taking a toll on Bob’s relationship with his Asian Internet girlfriend while limiting Walt’s acting opportunities. Eventually, Bob and Walt wonder if separation is the answer to their problems or just another problem to add to the list.

If “Stuck on You” sounds like a love story—not between two brothers and the women who love them, but just between the two brothers—yeah, it kinda is. But it’s a very funny one; this is, after all, the Farrellys we’re talking about. Those two know how to mix outrageous humor with an endearing sweetness. Whereas most comedies just play mean, the Farrellys can generate big laughs that often originate in the heart. They have a genuine love for their characters, whether they be conjoined twins, retarded busboys, sleazy Hollywood managers or—most frightening of all—Cher. In a real change-of-pace role for him, Damon is good. But Kinnear is terrific, with a semi-smarmy presence and his expert comic timing. He’s really underrated as a comic actor. In the eye-candy role, Latino “It Girl” Eva Mendes shows a real flair for playing a hot, dumb babe with a bosom with mesmeric powers. Seymour Cassell does an amusing turn as Walt’s two-bit agent, who lives in a retirement home, rides around on a motorized scooter and sports the lamest toupee ever seen onscreen.

For the first half-hour, I thought it was merely okay, but the more it went on, the funnier it became and I ultimately liked it a lot. So how does “Stuck on You” rate in the Farrelly oeuvre? It may not be their best (that’s “Kingpin” and, to a lesser degree, “Mary"), but I’d put it up there alongside “Me, Myself & Irene.” It’s certainly better than “Dumb & Dumber” or “Shallow Hal.” The Brothers continue to prove they’re not much in the directorial department, but they know how to deliver laughs. I’ll happily get in line for them every time.

Rod Lott writes about pop culture, annoying celebrities and life’s other absurdities every day at Hitch Daily and he also publishes the long-running Hitch:The Journal of Pop Culture Absurdity which is actually made out of paper.

Before Ben Stiller was a household name, he had the lowest-rated show on network TV and also the funniest. For some reason, The Ben Stiller Show never caught on, despite rave reviews, and FOX canned it after 12 episodes. The rest is sweet history, however: It later won an Emmy for writing, launched a handful of Hollywood careers and now, finally, is preserved forever on DVD.

On the surface, Stiller is just another sketch comedy show. But there was a youthful exuberance to the whole affair that, coupled with great performances and often-brilliant writing, made the show worthy of being mentioned today in the same breath as SCTV, The Kids in the Hall or the best of Saturday Night Live.

Stiller – also acting as a writer, director and producer – served as host, palling around town with that week’s random guest star (running the gamut of Garry Shandling to Bobcat Goldthwait) and introducing the filmed and taped bits that featured himself, Janeane Garofalo, Bob Odenkirk and Andy Dick, all of whom were then unknowns. What a difference a decade makes.

Stiller got the gig partly because of a well-received The Color of Money parody that aired on SNL, so it seems fitting that the first episode kicked off with a movie lampoon, which imagined Eddie Munster assuming the Robert DeNiro role in Cape Fear. It’s hilarious, and over the dozen shows that followed, the crew would pull it off again with Die Hard 12: Die Hungry, A Few Good Scouts
and Woody Allen’s Bride of Frankenstein (and even for imaginary films like Stiller’s Andre Agassi in the action vehicle Advantage: Agassi).

The cast parodied TV with equal skill, often biting the hand that fed them. The reality show COPS was placed in ancient Egypt and medieval times, while their melding of several FOX teen shows – Melrose Heights 90210-2402 – resulted in a series high point, detailing a false rumor about a classmate being a cyborg (“Oh, someone made me lunch! Batteries? I am not a robot!”). My favorite bits were the occasional teasers for a nonexistent FOX show called Skank, your average stupid family sitcom, save for the patriarch being a dirty sock with a marked temper and laugh-track-ready catchphrase (“Shut your stinkin’ trap!”).

Other notable targets along the show’s inexplicably short life include U2, acting as breakfast-cereal shills; rap videos; Rescue 911; The Monkees, reimagined as grunge rockers; Wilford Brimley’s oatmeal ads; and obsessive Star Trek fans. As with any sketch program, not everything worked (Amish Studs or the Pig-Latin Lover, anyone?), but the cast was so often daring to be different (Odenkirk doing Charles Manson in a Lassie parody or Stiller doing Al Pacino auditioning for Beethoven, for instance) that the high points far outnumbered the occasional misstep.

Special note must be made of the ad for the children’s Satanic game “Kreepee Board.” With its scenes of demonic possession, virgin sacrifices and a pig’s head on a stick – all involving elementary school children – it has to be the most hysterically subversive thing that ever aired on network television. Except that it didn’t. It was part of the 13th episode that FOX never aired; it surfaced on Comedy Central a couple of years later, and luckily, it’s completely intact on DVD.

This two-disc set features entertaining commentary on select episodes, plus footage from the discarded pilots, several very good deleted scenes (particularly the wrestling spot with Dick doing an expert Charles Nelson Reilly), an E! behind-the-scenes special and scenes from Stiller’s earlier, also short-lived MTV show.

Rod Lott is the publisher of Hitch Magazine: The Journal of Pop Culture Absurdity.

Director: Ed Zwick.
Cast: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Billy Connolly

When we first are introduced to Nathan Algren, he is slumped in a chair in a darkened room taking swigs from a flask of whiskey. We know immediately that he is a good man tortured by a dark past who will be redeemed and find peace by the end of the movie. We also know that director Ed Zwick isn’t going to give us anything very fresh or original. In a bid to reach the widest possible audience, Zwick has opted to tell this epic story through conventions already established in blockbusters like Dances With Wolves and Braveheart. It’s a testament to the underlying power of the story that the movie still works fairly well, but it’s also quite a missed opportunity to do something much grander.

The Last Samurai focuses on Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise) who is a suicidal alchoholic former Civil War hero hired by the Japanese government to train their army. The film is sketchy about the historic details, but there is essentially a Samurai rebellion occurring in Japan. There is a movement in the government to Westernize Japan and the Samurai represent those that hold to traditional Japanese beliefs. When Algren’s troops are sent to battle prematurely, they are slaughtered and he is captured. He is taken captive by Katsumoto, leader of the Samurai rebellion. While in captivity, Algren falls in love with the samurai culture and ends up finding the redemption and spiritual healing we knew he would. When all the ***censored*** hits the fan, Algren, no nobody’s surprise decides to fight on the side of the samurai.

The movie is built with reliable elements that have proven themselves to be Hollywood gold. Tom Cruise delivers a perfect Tom Cruise performance. Zwick keeps the action moving at an effective pace and doesn’t introduce enough actual history to complicate things. The cinematography by John Toll is exquisitely beautiful and the Hans Zimmer soundtrack proudly proclaims that “this movie is an epic.”

Aside from the sheer beauty of the film, the real standout is Ken Watanabe as Katsumoto, leader of the Samurai. Watanabe’s screen presence is so powerful that it is almost enough to fill the void left by the weak script and direction. This guy looks like he was born to star in Akira Kurosawa movies but was unfortunately just born too late. Watanabe believably brings Katsumoto to life as a fully fleshed out character, not just a bad-***censored*** warrior. He is, no doubt about it, a bad-***censored***, but he makes you BELIEVE in bushido. He radiates it. It may be the strength and fragility he brings to this role that keeps the whole movie from folding like a deck of cards. 

The Last Samurai wants to have the best of both worlds. It wants to be a big important epic, but it doesn’t want to ask the hard questions or delve very deep into the heart of the characters. It also wants to be a big dumb action film, but it wants to have a serious and important message.

Ultimately, The Last Samurai is a politically correct action movie for privileged white guys. The irony is that the guys who love movies like this and Braveheart are the same guys who are gung-ho about blasting the ***censored*** out of “primitive” civilizations in the middle east. It’s a self-important movie with some great action sequences and a star-making performance by Ken Watanabe. For true cinephiles, it will probably serve as a reminder that it’s time to dust off your Akira Kurosawa movies and watch Ran or The Seven Samurai once again.

Review by Christopher Sharpe.

My first exposure to Ozone director J.R. Bookwalter came from an old issue of Fangoria Magazine. I can’t remember the issue number but this had to be back in the early to mid 1980s. Featured in the issue was a full-color spread about a film called The Dead Next Door. I was immediately captivated by the bloody images of zombies reaching out for chunks of raw flesh. But the thing that really caught my attention was that the film was being shot on Super-8 by some seventeen year old geek with glasses and a mullet. Although it took me years to finally get my hands on a copy of the film, the Fangoria article planted a seed in my fevered movie-obsessed brain: If this geek in Ohio was making his own movies… so could I.

By this time I finally saw The Dead Next Door, it had already developed quite a cult following. Honestly, I was a little disappointed in the film. It had a raw energy, some cool efffects and a unique visual style, but it definitely wasn’t going to give George Romero a run for his money. But it did make me curious about what else J.R. Bookwalter had been up to. I found out he had directly an embarrassing 16mm flick called Robot Ninja, followed by a succession of even more embarrassing shot-on-video flicks.

But then I heard about a soon to be released movie called Ozone. Supposedly, Bookwalter had gathered all his resources had set out to push the envelope of what could be done with a shot-on-video feature. This was his last ditch effort to return to his roots and atone for his previous shot-on-video sins.

When Ozone was finally released by Bookwalter’s Suburban Tempe Home video company, it was like a bomb had been dropped on the low-budget filmmaking scene. On the surface, Ozone was nothing more than an effective little horror film about a designer drug that turns people into liquified corpses. A cop named Eddie Boone (nicely played by James Black) is investigating the death of his partner when he becomes entwined in a plotline that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But who cares about plot when the movie is chock-full of zombies, subterranean gladiator fights, spooky hallucinations and disgusting back-alley birthing scenes. Basically, it contains plenty of all the elements that fans of low-budget horror look for in a movie.

But if you were an aspiring filmmaker at the time, there was an added element of excitement. The really exciting news was that Bookwalter had somehow pulled off a feature length film shot on Super-VHS for a budget of $3,500 and it WORKED. Not only did it work, it was full of cool special effects and even had “morphing”! This is the movie that finally showed aspiring filmmakers that it was POSSIBLE to make a decent movie with their consumer video equipment. And with that realization, the shot-on-video filmmaking movement truly began.

Now celebrating its tenth anniversary, Bookwalter has revisited the film for its DVD release. He has taken advantage of his new state-of-the-art production facilities to completely remaster the video and audio as well as recreating a lot of the special effects. Ozone has never looked or sounded better. However, the latest digital technology can’t help the paper-thin plot, nor can it erase the mullets or some of the extremely dated clothes. But maybe that’s a good thing. After all, too much tinkering around with this underground “classic” would obscure the films original accomplishment. Even with the somewhat hokey special effects of the original version, there was no denying Bookwalter’s visual talent behind the camera. 

As with all Tempe DVDs, the film is supplemented with a slew of great special features including a 30-minute documentary and a commentary track by Bookwalter and lead actor James Black. If you’re an aspiring filmmaker you have no excuse for not buying this film right now. I would consider it an essential.

If on the other hand, you don’t want to make a movie, but just want to see melting junkies and chicks crapping out mutant babies in dirty alleys, give Ozone a spin. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Reviewed by Christopher Sharpe.

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Director:Thomas McCarthy
Cast: Peter Dinklage, Patricia Clarkson, Bobby Cannavale, Michelle Williams, Paul Benjamin

Finbar McBride is an ordinary kind of guy who lives a semi-boring life. He is obsessed with trains and works in a tiny shop repairing model trains. He leads a quiet solitary life, and he likes it that way. By the way, he’s a dwarf.

When his good friend dies, he leaves Fin an old train depot in a small New Jersey town. Fin moves into the depot eager for more solitary living. However, he soon finds his new living quarters a hub of activity for some of the small towns residents.

By this point, you’re probably cringing.  A dwarf? A small town? Eccentric characters? An obsession with trains? It sounds like a mish-mash of bad indie movie clichés. That’s pretty much what I thought. However, I was pleasantly surprised by this film.

The Station Agent is actually a refreshingly original and unsentimental movie. Rather than trying to dazzle us with camera tricks or over-the-top emotional scenes, first time director Thomas McCarthy keeps the film focused on the characters. The dialogue, direction and cinematography are cut to the bone. They keep the story moving along gracefully, but stay out of the way of the wonderful performances. This focus probably has a lot to do with McCarthy’s background as an actor.

Peter Dinklage, Patricia Clarkson and Bobby Cannavale all deliver pitch perfect performances as the three leads of the film. They inhabit their roles effortlessly and honestly don’t even look like they’re trying.

They portray three very different people who are thrown together by the mundane nature of everyday life and end up forming a cautious friendship. Patricia Clarkson is Olivia, a local woman who has been through hell and is trying to somehow get through the rest of her life. Bobby Cannavale is Joe, a big-hearted lug who you’ll wish was really your best friend. And Peter Dinklage is Finbar, a man who happens to be a dwarf and is gunshy about relationships with other people. As good as everything about this film is, it’s Dinklage that really steals the show. For what is essentially the main character, he has a tiny amount of dialogue, but still delivers a fully fleshed out and complicated performance.

The film is almost defiantly anti-Hollywood in its refusal to deliver overly-emotional moments. The Station Agent will probably work even better on DVD than it does in the theater. If you see this with the wrong crowd, it could easily sink your enjoyment of this film. It’s understated, quiet style could easily be destroyed by an audience with a short attention span an an inability to keep their mouth closed when they chew popcorn.

Tom McCarthy has delivered a fine film with a compelling story, fine direction and some of the best performances you’ll see all year. 

Review by Christopher Sharpe.