Quick! What was the first martial-arts movie to unspool across American cinemas? Five Fingers of Death? Fists of Fury? Nope! ‘Twas 1961’s no-budget, black-and-white oddity Karate: Hand of Death.

In it, a Yank named Matthew (Joel Holt) is vacationing in Japan when he mysteriously comes into possession of a coin owned by a former Nazi who was murdered via karate chop the previous night. Because said coin contains hidden secrets surrounding the dead man’s fortune, bad guys come out of the woodwork to prey on Matthew; the one pestering him the most is Ivan Mayberry, a near-seven-feet tall homosexual who talks like Mr. Belvedere and smokes all of Matthew’s cigarettes.

Luckily, Matt is skilled in the fine art of karate – black-belt style! Or so says the script. He’s got scars on his knuckles and we see him break a couple of boards, but he doesn’t hit much beyond a teapot, which he assaults in a rage in his hotel room, hilariously. He also stops a taxi cab in its tracks and
kills a man simply with a bale of hay, but I don’t think you need a black belt to do that. When Matt fully busts out his kung fu in the to-the-death finale, it’s still so stilted and awkward, it’s like watching Ward Cleaver.

The film’s middle is an extended lesson in the sport of karate, during which Ivan won’t stop asking annoying questions (“Why do those chappies have their fingers extended like this?”). Karate sure doesn’t work as a straightforward action film, because it’s largely in a state of inertia, but it works well as a comedy.

As fun as it is, though, this is one of the rare cases of a DVD where the bonus features outweigh the actual feature. Something Weird has packed the disc full of old-school kung-fu trailers from the genre’s ‘70s heyday, in what it calls The Incredible Martial-Arts-Mayhem Kung-Fu Trailer Show.

There are a resplendent 50 previews in all, most of which were seen on the company’s two Martial Arts Mayhem tapes from the late ‘90s. Several superstars of the genre are represented in these coming attractions, including Jackie Chan (Snake Fist Fighter), Bolo Yeung (Chinese Hercules), Jimmy Wang Yu (Master of the Flying Guillotine), Sonny Chiba (The Street Fighter) and Chuck Norris (Slaughter in San Francisco). There’s no Bruce Lee, but plenty of his laughable clones.

A few of these three-minute bites can’t possibly live up to their titles (The Sacred Knives of Vengenance or Slash – The Blade of Death!), while others sport some hardcore concepts that have me thirsting to see the whole thing. Included in this camp are the booby traps a’plenty of Masters of the Iron Arena, the swords-for-rungs ladder of Tower of the Drunken Dragon, The Karate Killer’s deadly hair and the snake-***censored***-goes-crazy plot of Devil Woman.

But best of all are the numerous, head-scratching title cards and ad taglines which seem lost in translation. Some highlights:
• Temple of Death: “FATAL FIGHTING, HUMEROUS” and “WELL GUARANTEE”
• Deadly Strike: “STRON CASTING! NEW STRIKES! RISKS EVERYWHERE!”
• Superfist: “FUGITIVE? DRUG TRAFFICKER? ASSASSINATION! REVENGE!”
• Hammerfist Masters: “Featuring the Charming Lady”
• The Mad, the Mean, and the Deadly: “Furious Fighting That Startle Everybody!”
• Dragons Never Die: “Take your mama to see it before somebody else does!”
• Fury of the Black Belt: “MOVABLE SIGHT IN EVERY SECOND! THE FEELING OF PRESSURE! CARRY OUT FORCE! THE QUESTION OF LOWS! IT IS AN EXPLOSIVE FILM!”

The combination of a wholly obscure martial arts B-movie with hours of fun-filled trailers make this DVD irresistible, and I hope Something Weird continues to release more of the same.

Review by Rod Lott.

Hong Kong, 2001
Director: Tsui Hark
Starring: Ekin Cheng, Cecilia Cheung, Zhang Ziyi, Sammo Hung

The Zu Mountain stands by itself in another world. When the evil Insomnia slowly starts to move along and destroy everything that stands in his way, only one clan has the power to stop this war lord. Omei, with the support of Zu’s toughest warriors, the Omei Clan will risk their lives to bring back the peace of the Zu Mountains.

This film wants to be an epic so bad that it overwhelms and overpowers everything. Tsui Hark is relying on computer generated special effects and environments rather than narrative and character development. The result is that the film is trying way too hard to be intense in every moment and even too artistic.  It is somehow just nonsense to watch after a while. The film contains way too many characters that are portrayed by the stars (Ekin Cheng, Cecilia Cheung and Zhang Ziyi to name a few). It’s very disappointing that the film doesn’t have room for most of them.

Action sequences are choreographed by the master Yuen Woo-Ping. But most of the martial arts sequences in this film depend on the use of CGI to show their powers and their weapons.

This is his re-visit, upgrade version of his film Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain. This again has the re-visitation curse all over it. Did Lucas put him up to this? I don’t know. He tried to do what he did with the original, to break all the rules and give us a spectacular fantasy film.  He failed. Maybe he should re-visit this film again in twenty years from now and see if he can make it even worse.

Review by Shogo.

Canada, 2003
Director: Charles Martin Smith
Cast: Barry Pepper, Annabella Piugattuk
Score: ***

The Snow Walker is a man versus nature tale featuring northern arctic landscapes, with luscious effects which include swarms of mosquitoes descending from a blackened sky, torrential rains and close-ups of seldom seen creatures like the white owl and arctic squirrel.  Shot on location in areas north of Churchill, Manitoba to stand for the Canadian arctic, the film concerns a brash bush pilot Charlie Halliday (Barry Pepper, the sniper from Saving Private Ryan), a ladies man and war veteran, stranded with a sickly Inuit girl, Kanaalaq (Annabella Piugattuk) after his plane crashes down hundred of miles from civilization on the rugged and barren arctic tundra.  Taken as dead by the plane charter company, Charlie and Kanaalaq eventually journey in the direction of an Inuit village as winter approaches and the ground turns into ice and snow.

Based on Farley Mowat’s (Never Cry Wolf) short story, Walk Well My Brother, The Snow Walker offers ample opportunities for adventure, clash of cultures, triumph of the human spirit over nature’s unforgiving elements and perhaps a little romance.  Writer and director Smith clearly has his heart with the local Inuits.  The white man is portrayed as indecisive, impetuous and impulsive while the Inuits are stable, intuitive and sacrificing.  Having his training with Disney – Never Cry Wolf was a Disney film and Martin went on to also direct Air Bud – it is not surprising that his new film follows in the same footsteps.  The strongest words in the script are ‘son of a ***censored***’ and the film’s family-friendly feel prevents it from having the strength and raw energy of say, the recent disaster film Touching the Void or the recent Inuit movie Atanajuart, the Fast Runner.

The film is captivating and earnest enough, with sufficient frictional interplay between the lead and the girl with an arduous journey just scary enough for a whole family to view.  Still, one only wishes that she would learn from him as much as he from her or that the film contained more gruesome scenes to more realistically evoke the horror of being stranded in the far north.

Review by Gilbert Seah

USA 2004
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Score: ***

Broken Lizard is a comedy group comprised of director Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter and Erik Stolkanske.  Their first outing, the 2001 Super Troopers proved that placing oneself in an infantile state of mind allows one to enjoy certain hilarity in all the group’s silliness.  But at least there are no fart, puke or ***censored*** jokes.

Broken Lizard’s new venture is Pleasure Island, where vacationers visit, cut off from all connections to the outside world.  Which is all perfectly fine unless some killer maniac is let loose and starts doing away with the club organizers (played by Broken Lizard).  That is as far as the storyline goes.

Bill Paxton, who takes over the celebrity role from straight actor Brian Cox in Super Troopers provides more hamming up than laughs.  The troupe, playing roles like Dave: DJ and drugs, Sam: Fun Police get their bit in for the fun. The takes on slasher movies (the numerous false alarms; the stupid having sex being the first to go; no matter where you run, the killer always appears and finally the slasher having to be killed at least three times) are taken to the hilt.

Broken Lizard reminds one of the old British—Carry On series.  The Carry On films were crude, silly, not particularly funny nor well made but a new one pops up every year.  And I have seen every single one of them.

Review by Gilbert Seah.

Drama, Rated PG.
Director: Gavin O’Connor.
Writer: Eric Guggenheim.
Cast: Kurt Russell, Patricia Clarkson, Noah Emmerich.

Miracle is based on the real events of how hockey coach Herb Brooks molded a group of disorganized college players into the U.S. Winter Hockey Team, leading them to an unbelievable victory over the Russians during the 1980 Olympics.  Unorthodox and hard-nosed, Brooks’ approach towards coaching seemed doomed from the start as the player-turned-coach set out to end the Russian’s unstoppable golden winning streak which they had held since the ‘60s.  Brooks realized that if victory was to be achieved his libido-driven players could not act as individual glory hounds.  They had to act as one and become a unified team.  So, Brooks drilled them long and hard until his players hated him, and then he made them practice even more.  There was no room for crybabies.  There was only room for winners.  Everyone else was gladly invited to walk out the door.

Kurt Russell (Breakdown) portrays Brooks with the passion, vigor, and spirit of an angry Army drill sergeant with zero time to be his player’s friend or daddy.  In fact, he outwardly leaves that duty to his soft-spoken assistant coach Craig Patrick, played by Noah Emmerich (Love and Sex).  Brooks is there to beat those kids into shape, plain and simple.  His methods are scrutinized by all around, including his supportive and caring wife Patty, Patricia Clarkson (Pieces of April).  But the coach’s only concern is winning the gold for the United States.  Brooks thinks hockey, breaths hockey, and lives hockey.  It’s a philosophy that certainly takes a toll on his marriage and his friendships.

Miracle features a large and talented cast, however the movie’s story and spirit belongs to Russell, who gladly gives it his all.  Russell sculpts Brooks a deep complexity not just with words, but with a determination and inner-sadness from his past failures.  He not only shows Brooks’ stubborn side, but also manages to unfold dry humor and intelligence along the way.

Director Gavin O’Connor (Tumbleweeds) keeps the story moving along at a fast pace which travels at breakneck speed during the almost play by play finale of the famous hockey game. O’Connor’s realistic hockey footage is unmatched and will certainly raise the bar for future films to contend with.  However, the most amazing thing about Miracle is that it could have easily been corny or cliché.  It follows yet another tough coach and his underdog team as they fight their way against the odds towards a last minute victory.  Somehow, though, O’Connor manages to not only breathe life into this old formula, but he keeps you rooting and cheering along the way.  And he also shows that the hockey game in 1980 wasn’t just a win for one person.  It was for a whole country.  Miracle is an upbeat movie to be enjoyed not just by sports fans, but by movie fans in general. 

Bottom line.  Should you see Miracle?  Yes. 

Review by Chad Goldich