2012 (USA 2009) **
Directed by Roland Emmerich

2012 is German director Roland Emmerich’s (INDEPENDENCE DAY, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW) latest foray into the disaster genre.  This time around, the premise is the entire planet earth being destroyed in the year 2012 as the sun, earth and other planets align themselves for the first as predicted by the ancient Mayans.

Emmerich intercuts several stories together with the warnings and effects of the disaster.  One involves single dad Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), his ex-wife (Amanda Peet) and two children.  Others involve the relationship between Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and his father, the President of the U.S. with a heart (Danny Glover) dealing with the world catastrophe and on a smaller scale, a hermit (Woody Harrelson) who knows everything.

The script has some potential.  One suggests that the powerful and rich of the world have paid a fortune to keep the news away from the common folk.  That would be an interesting premise for a darker conspiracy movie.  It is hardly surprising then that the most interesting character of the film is the crazed hermit played by Woody Harrelson who has foreseen the end of the world coming.  Needless to say, the most tedious character is that of the main protagonist of the single father played with the greatest awkward sincerity by John Cusack.

2012 contains the most clichés ever assembled on screen.  From that protagonist single father who has to win back the respect and love of his ex-wife right to the very end of the film when everyone thinks him drowned to his sudden re-appearance above the water, these are re-cycled events seen time and again in countless other films.  With the element of predictability added in, Emmerich’s film is the worst example of a Hollywood blockbuster there is.  The saddest thing about the whole enterprise is that Emmerich is dead serious in this project and directs as if all the ideas were originally his.  This man has balls the size of gigantic boulders – the sort erupting out of the volcanoes in this film.

As a forecast of the enormity of the disaster is announced at one point in the film, a character remarks that this kind of event can only happen in Hollywood.  Even the self parody is unoriginal and falls flat.  But there are ripe humorous parts as when the Californian governor announces in a German accent on television that there is no danger.  “That guy is an actor.  He is reading from a script,” retorts Jackson.  Unfortunately, such parts are very few.

At the start of the film, the Indian Dr. Satnam (Jimi Mistry) tells his mate Adrian that his girlfriend is more beautiful than ever but her fish curry is till horrid.  These words also ring so true for director Emmerich.  His film is the most stunning in looks and CGI effects compared to his other works but the fact of the matter is that the recipe for all his films is still as horrid as ever.