PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF
(USA 2009) **
Directed by Chris Columbus

The long title of this family fantasy adventure based on Greek mythology is based on the first of a series of 5 books written by Rick Riordan.  The hero is Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) who discovers himself the son of Poseidon.  (In reality, Percy Jackson has ADD.) But Percy Jackson, a demigod whose mother (Catherine Keener keeping a really straight Poker-face throughout the film) is human, has to find a stolen lightning bolt and save the world.

Despite the time sensitive nature of the trio’s mission to save the world, Columbus’ film displays no sense of urgency.  Even the characters have to remind each other of the task at hand.

The film alternates unevenly between humour and action.  The first action segment is a shocker when Percy’s substitute teacher suddenly transforms into a winged monster.  Note the misplaced musical number “Poker Face” in the midst of saving the world. 

Most of the Brits (Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan, Steve Coogan, Kevin McKidd) playing the Olympians are barely recognizable behind the facial hair.  Uma Thurman is too pretty to play Medusa and her duel to the death with Percy is the most unexciting piece in the film.  The newcomers playing the teens, Logan Lerman (3:10 TO YUMA), Brandon T. Jackson and Alexandra Daddario deliver fair performances given the unimaginative script.

The dialogue is as lame as the plot.  It would not be surprising if the young actors were improvising their own lines – as most are infantile and unfunny.  Example: Question to Percy:  “Why should I use my jacket to bundle Medusa’s head?” Answer: “Because you are my bodyguard.” The rebuttal?  “Ok – I will use my hoody!” Other supposedly film highlights include the most boring car chase ever caught on film this year and a climatic fight involving a surprising villain that is not seen till the end of the movie.  The worst that is yet to come is the silly cop-out ending involving hero and girlfriend.

Fans of the Percy Jackson books should be disappointed.  There is no strong narrative from Percy’s point of view that could have kept the film focussed and exciting.  Incidents, characters and fights are thrown in at random.  Even the funny bits like the scenes involving Percy’s mother’s (Catherine Keener) boyfriend, Gabe (Joe Pantoliano) have little place in the movie.

In short, PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF is a lacklustre medieval fantasy adventure involving teens saving the world despite some impressive special effects.  Watch for the much better UNDER MOUNTAIN from New Zealand with the similar theme of teens saving the world – this time from monsters lurking under the Auckland volcanoes.  PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF will also leave a raw taste in the mouth for the upcoming blockbuster CLASH OF THE TITANS.