Starring: Ice Cube, Nia Long, Jay Mohr
Directed by: Brian Levant
Columbia Pictures

Straight out of Compton!
Crazy ***censored*** named Ice Cube!
From the gang called Niggas with Attitude!
When I’m called off, I got a saw off!
Squeeze the trigger, & bodies are hauled off!

Remember when Ice Cube was a hardcore gangsta, back about 15 years ago? I wonder what the Ice Cube of that period would have thought about the new, family friendly Ice Cube. Would he cold ***censored*** him with the butt of his glock? Or would he shake his hand and smile, happy that he’s matured into such an upstanding individual?

Regardless, I have always liked Ice Cube, not just as a rapper, but also as an actor. From FRIDAY and GHOSTS OF MARS to BARBERSHOP and ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS. —I’’ll pretty much see it if he’s in it. Underneath that gruff exterior is a real likeability and plus, he’’s kinda fat and in action films, which gives me hope.

In his latest film, Cube takes the aforementioned family route with the likeably clichéd ARE WE THERE YET? Sure, it’’s horribly maudlin and utterly predictable, but dammit if I didn’’t like it! And honestly, if I had kids, I’’d much rather take them to this than that celluloid abortion called RACING STRIPES.

Cube is genial sports memorabilia store owner Nick who, even though he hates kids, agrees to take single mom (and ultra hot) Nia Long’’s children to the airport. Should be easy, right?

Well, these kids are obnoxious little assholes in the HOME ALONE vein——you know, they come up with all kinds of devious Rube Goldberg-ian pranks to play on the insipid adults——so what should be a simple trip to the airport (d?)evolves into a cross-country road trip where Nick’s brand new Escalade is continually smashed, dented, vomited in and ultimately set on fire, but wouldn’’t you know it——everyone learns a lesson——the kids accept Nick because he didn’t have a dad growing up (just like them!) and Nick learns to love kids through a montage of all the good times they had together on the trip and Nia Long learns to love Nick, even though he has nearly put her children in comas at least three times during the trip.

Like I said, Ice Cube is likable and if this film starred anyone else——like say, Rob Schneider——it would suck ***censored***. Nia Long is gorgeous and pretty much is window dressing. The kids are annoyingly sassy——if mom would just give them a good beating then maybe they’d quit acting up. It worked for me! It would be spectacularly easy to bash this film, but I can appreciate it for what it is. It’’s a family film starring the guy who sang “AMERIKKKAS MOST WANTED. Really, that alone is worth the price of admission!

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Louis Fowler is a frequent contributor to Cinema Eye and Hitch Magazine. He is the host of DAMAGED Hearing, Fridays at midnight on KRFC-FM and film critic for the Rocky Mountain Bullhorn. Oh yeah, he also has a blog!