CONAN THE BARBARIAN (USA 2011) **
Directed by Marcus Nispel

Seems that it is time already for a CONAN THE BARBARIAN reboot.  This week sees two reboots – this one as well as FRIGHT NIGHT.

The original CONAN THE BARBARIAN was something to look forward to with John Milius, the macho action director with two then recent hits BIG WEDNESDAY and THE WIND AND THE LION at his helm. Though over serious with a lack of a strong narrative, Milius’s CONAN with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s leaden acting still entertained.

The new Marcus Nespel 3D version suffers from the same flaws of a weak narrative and an over serious story set elsewhere on which audiences cannot relate to. The film is, at least, lighter in tone with the new CONAN, played by newcomer Jason Momoa looking younger, fresher though not necessarily less leaden.  But the film suffers terribly from freshness and the whole exercise is more than a tad dull.

A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan (Jason Momoa) realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil.  The film begins with his mother giving birth to him amidst his fighting father (Ron Pearlman) who later trains him and forges his sword.  That is as much as the plot and story goes.

The actions scenes, particularly the fights with a tentacled monster and the crumbling creatures are impressive but then everyone knows that Conan will come forth the winner.  Most of the other fight sequences are similar.  The lack of good dialogue and punch lines like: “I don’t like you any more”, proves that this reboot entry should have been best left shelved!