The KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is not holy Jerusalem, cries the hero Balian (Orlando Bloom) at one point in the film, the kingdom is where the heart is.  That sums up the historical kitsch that makes up Ridley Scott’s (GLADIATOR, BLADE RUNNER, 1942) summer gladiator-type epic.  The time is the 12th century.  The plot?  The Muslims under the command of Arab leader Saladin (Ghassan Massoud) are out to re-capture the holy city of Jerusalem.  The Christian crusaders have left the city to fight the enemy leaving it open for attack and it is up to the humble blacksmith, Balian to organize the rescue.

Running at a total of 144 minutes (edited from over 200 minutes by director Scott himself, who promises a director’s cut DVD version in December), KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is not as bad as it sounds.  Orlando Bloom makes quite a believable warrior leader as well (helped by cheap theatrics like a crescendo score, several nicely written speeches and hero-worshipping extras) after he has done away with his boyish good looks.  He dons dark hair and scars (one on the side of his face and the other on the hand) and has been working out gaining a chiseled body for his love scene with Eva Green.  Historical accuracy or story is not the aim but Hollywood-style storytelling.  Take a look at Green’s stunning glossy lipstick and full facial makeup for example.  But KINGDOM succeeds as it is an entertaining 2 hour long of adventure spectacle enhanced by digit CGI effects and aided by a stellar cast that includes Liam Neeson, Jon Finch, Brendan Gleeson, Jeremy Irons, David Thewlis and the voice of Edward Norton (as the leper king).  Ancient Jerusalem is created for great cinematic effect.  A nice twist in the story is having the Muslims be the good guys and the French Christians, particularly the French Lord, Guy de Lusignan (Marton Csokas) as the villains.  The scriptwriter William Monahan gives the Csokas best lines: “Assemble the Army!” It is war and I am King!” The battle strategy here also makes more sense than the Lord of the Rings films.

If the film’s length has been severely shortened, it shows.  Bailan’s meeting and resentment of his father, the Baron Godfrey of Ibelin (Liam Neeson) at the film’s start indicates another story skipped out.  More obvious though, is the unlikely whereabouts of the main villain, Guy de Lusignan.  After creating havoc, he is left at the hands of the enemy with no more said or seen of him.  Still, for all that it is worth, KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is typical Ridley Scott – all spectacle and not much else.  Do not expect any history lesson here.  Like TROY and ALEXANDER, history is distorted for the movie’s purpose! And the only morals delivered are the polished one-liners that can be laughed at.