Director: Johnny Crash
Cast: Misty Mundae, Julian Wells, Darian Caine
Official Site

Not since Joe Estevez stared down Tanya Dempsey’s shirt and ogled her sumptuous cleavage in Stuart Gordon Presents: Deathbed has a b-movie so seared intself into my palpatating heart. That’s right my friends, E.I. Cinema in conjunction with Seduction Cinema has crafted a B-movie masterpiece disguised as an erotic parody. The movie is called Spiderbabe.

We are all familiar with the legend of Spider-Man. A hapless young science nerd, is the outcast of his school, picked on by bullies and laughed at by girls. Then, one day he is bitten by a radioactive spider and becomes a wall-crawling superhero. This story was recent brought to cinematic life by Sam Raimi. The movie was very good, yet it was very slick and polished. It failed to capture some of the rough street-level charm of the classic Steve Ditko illustrated comic book series.

Enter: Misty Mundae.

Misty is one of the most talented and beautiful starlets working in the b-movie scene today. However, in all honestly, her movies haven’t been much to write home about. Misty is always a beautiful diamond in the rough—a shining beacon in the middle of these crummy movies. There have been a few notable films (Playmate of the Apes, Dr. Jeckyll & Mistress Hyde), but for these movies are only worth watching for their sweet sapphic love sequences. Seduction Cinema has made a name for themselves in the b-movie arena by cranking out “erotic parodies” but now they have taken things up a notch.

In Spiderbabe, Misty plays Patricia Porker, a hot female nerd who is is bitten by her science teachers giant arachnid. At first, she just feels sick, but then a car comes along and… whooosh… she is crawling on the walls of a building. Spider-man enthusiasts will recall this scene from the classic “Amazing Fantasy” #15. Director Johnny Crash obviously knows his stuff when it comes to Marvel lore.

After this exciting sequence, Spiderbabe continues as a pitch-perfect parody of the Spidey origin story… Except there are a few important differences. Most importantly, as with the other films in the Seduction “multiverse” the chicks get into the lesbionic action at the drop of a hat. Also, all the major Spidey characters are re-imagined as females. This comes in handy when Patricia tries to convince her boss at the newspaper not to run negative Spiderbabe stories. Also, instead of shooting webs from her wrists, Spiderbabe shoots webs from her… nether-regions. Her web-squirting genitals come as quite a surprise to everyone in the movie, including Spiderbabe herself.

Director Johnny Crash does a great job of keeping the action moving at comic book speed. You know it’s a good sign when you are eager for the lesbian sequences to reach their climax to the real action can resume. The special effects are good in a low-budget, “Look, Ma! I know how to use After Effects” style. There are a few embarrassing sequences such as the final shot when Spiderbabe jumps onto the Statue of Liberty’s shoulder. Also, the wall-crawling action just felt a little bit fake. But overall, the movie looks amazing. This was shot with the same camera George Lucas used for Star Wars and it does not disappoint. You could have fooled me into believing it was 35mm film.

If there is anything lacking about Spiderbabe, in my opinion, it is the villain. Fem-tillian, just seems stupid to me. More importantly, it’s not a direct parody of any of the real Spider-Man’s rogues gallery. Just imagine the erotic possibilities of Doctor Octopus or the Rhino.

Nevertheless, Spiderbabe is a real treat for fans of Spidey, b-movies and lesbians. And that is something I think we can all agree on.

Ed Donovan lives in Burbank, CA where he is a mild-mannered copy shop employee by day. By night he is drummer for the art rock band Sodom and the Zsa Zsa Gaborrahs. He is also working on what promises to be the best b-movie zine ever.

Buy it at Amazon!

Rent it on-line at Netflix!

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Review by: Cinema Eye