Beware!  Don’t Mess With THE LOVE GURU.  Mike Myers’ (of SHREK and AUSTIN POWERS) new comedy concerns an Indian mystic capable of many tasks.  Run him the wrong way and you will be sorry.

THE LOVE GURU is Pitka (Mike Myers), an American raised in India by gurus, one of them Guru Tugginmypudha (played with cross-eyed enthusiasm by Ben Kingsley).  Pitka’s goal is to be the world’s number one popular guru but not until he appears on Oprah.  So, the film’s plot involves him settling a Maple Leafs hockey player’s (Romany Malco) marital problems.  He succeeds and Oprah will have him.  Toronto’s Leafs are owned by Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) who provides the Guru’s love interest.

Celebrities like Jessica Simpson and Deepak Chopra offer welcome cameos while singer Justin Timberlake delivers an unbelievable over-the-top performance as Jacques Grande, so called because of the size of his tool.  Austin Powers’ Mini-Me, Verne Troyer is back as well, which means plenty of offensive midget jokes.

THE LOVE GURU is a film without pacing, discipline or any regard of narrative flow.  The jokes (and elephantine toilet humour) come fast and furious.  With a hit and miss ratio of about 50% and arriving with the speed of lightning, the jokes at least kept me laughing out loud most of the movie.  Typical joke-:  Guru Pitka (about to disappear) remarks: “Make like a baby and head out!” The lychee sling dinner joke to me was the funniest but on the other hand, those seated beside me at the screening were not amused but disgusted.  But be forewarned!  The film is much more infantile that the recent Adam Sandler’s DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN.  But just as funny.  After the screening, a fellow critic who hated the film claimed that the film only contained 3 jokes.  I give the film 3 stars, one star for each of the three jokes.  One only wishes the film would have been directed with control by Austin Powers’ Jay Roach.

And a short note!  Hindu leaders are reasonably upset with Myers’ depiction of the Hindu religion and stereotyping.  But THE LOVE GURU is an innocent though often absurd film above love and the overcome of ones shortcomings.  Hey!  Other religions have been ridiculed in much worse form like the time Christianity took a kick in the butt from MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN.  Let love and toilet humour prevail!